It’s that time of year… making moves for the future and announcing summer plans, so this post is all about my recent life crisis, and what has morphed into my summer plans. In this post, I will unveil what has been taking place and how I’ve finally given my dream the attention it deserves.
I am a nursing student in a rigorous program at Purdue University. A huge sign that I had never taken the time to acknowledge, was, I didn’t know why I wanted to be a nurse. If you ask pretty much any nursing student why they want to be a nurse, they typically insert an answer about how much they care for people/patients. I am a caring person, but this was never a driving factor for why I wanted to be a nurse, and in reality, I never had that “this is why I do this” moment. Undoubtedly, I know that if I went on to be a nurse, I would be good at my job.
This past year, I started to have feelings of doubt and finally acknowledged them recently. This was a terrifying confrontation with my feelings because of the depth in my current taxing major. As I started trying to find nursing summer internships and opportunities, I ignored these thoughts as much as possible. After countless applications, I told myself that if nothing worked out, it was God’s way of screaming
MACY, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A NURSE!!!!!!!!
So here I am. Finally listening. I have reassessed many facets of my life, and my passion for fitness is something that has gone unwavering through it all. A huge component of the nursing healthcare system, no not all of it, is circular in its management of chronic conditions. Many of this population are compromised by something modifiable, meaning essentially, they are doing this to themselves, and will continue to do so until the day they die. It is incredibly hard for me to put back-breaking care and emotions into someone that fundamentally could careless {like I said this is not everyone and there are many pleasant and appreciative people out there}.
After taking a few steps back I was able to see that there are beautifully specific people and healthcare professionals to work with this population, but that was not me. This has been powerful and frustrating all at the same time. I had to take a cold hard look and add a sense of reality and understand that the profession would take more out of me than I would ever give back, and I would be another statistic of a burnt out nurse, not providing the care that every patient needs and warrants. Back to the drawing board, I found myself grounded in health and fitness, and some of the only times I smiled in my day were when I was with a client or cheering on a group fitness class through a tough workout.
Teenage Macy had many dreams a long time ago. After a knee injury as an adolescent, I was in physical therapy quite often. This impactful time of my life, left me pondering this area as a profession. Looking into the career field as a physical therapist, not only are there extensive educational requirements financially as well as timely, but I was set back by the lack of female acceptance in the sector I was driven towards.
Like many impressionable females my age, I listened to what society tells women they can be good at:
teaching
secretarial work
nursing
I wanted to be in healthcare, and I was hesitant about a doctoral program to be a physical therapist, so nursing fell into my lap in a way.
Coming full circle, it would have been astonishingly simple to quit on this dream again in the recent few months challenges, but I have been given a second chance to do what will not only make me happy but allow me to make the impact on a population of people that want to get better.
As summer approaches, I will be assisting in finalizing a research study started at Stanford and being completed Purdue, involving health and activity psychologically and childhood obesity. I will be taking this time to focus on course to fulfill my requirements for applying to PT school in the fall. I will be completing my nursing degree as expected, and if I have to take a little extra time to get my courses done for acceptance into a DPT program, I’m going to make to have the most fabulous victory lap y’all have ever seen!
Something pushed on many students, is that we have to do things a set way and there is only one road to get where we want to go. I have never been one to fit into a mold that is put in front of me, because being like everyone else is boring!
I GET to pave our way beside the rest. I GET to stand up after life kicks me down I GET to show life what we can do I GET to show all those people that said we couldn’t how beautifully I can.
YOU get to make your future whatever you want it to be, and you can get there however you want to, and you will all look beautiful along the way.
I am not letting doubt kill any more of my dreams, and settling is where dreams go to die, so I am pushing through barriers, not allowing anything stand in my way.
I can and I will.
I share this story with all you beautiful people not because I want to look like I have it all together and have this glamorous summer plan, but because I want you to know that if you ever think you can’t do something, know that you can, and you are not alone!
I am always more than welcome to help people in their journey’s, and as I may not be the best person to offer life advice, but I am still more than willing to send some positivity your way! Feel free to send an email my way: positivity.macymarina@gmail.com
Always remember to show life what you’re made of because you are all beautiful and can be whatever it is you want to be!
-Stay Beautiful -MM
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